Monday, January 31, 2011

A Revolution

Today I read Revolution, by Jennifer Donnelly. It's a historical fiction about the French revolution, but I'm reluctant to place it in the narrow category of one genre. There's so much to it. It's no simple historical fiction, nor is it the stupid fluff written for most high school students. Its the kind of book that you can't stop thinking about.
I've been second guessing myself lately. Thinking I can't write well, can't sing, can't act, honestly can't do anything right. I just keep finding things that are better then mine. In Creative Writing, the other students writing is wonderful- and it makes me look back at mine and This really isn't that good, my writing is mediocre at best, and it's rarely that good, which only depresses me more. What happens when you love something so much, it's all you want in you life to go right, but you just can't reach it? I do practice. I write all the time. I don't see myself improving. Writing is the only thing that really matters to me, but it's just out of my reach! I want to write. I don't care if I never am wealthy, never am famous, if my books never reach the New York Times Bestseller list. I don't care. I want to go into a bookstore, go to the Kn section, and find my name Knox. I want to be able to think that maybe someone bought that book, read it, and saw the world in a new way because of it. I don't care if I live in tiny apartment, eating Kraft dinner. I want to be published. Because I will live, then I will die, but if I publish my work I will live on. I will have left my legacy.

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